Where I Belong
by dermer07
Summary: What will happen after Derek realises that he cannot have both Addison and Meredith? Derek finally makes his ultimate decision, one that causes heartbreak, but allows him to move on...Please R&R!


A/N: I love Grey's Anatomy and I love reading fanfics on this website! Please R&R, and please give your honest opinion! Any criticism, comment or advice is much appreciated! Thanks. Next update will be up soon, I promise. Sorry to leave you hanging like that!

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any copyrights associated with it. I have simply borrowed the characters and setting. Please don't sue me, because I am currently broke! Actually, I'm can't think of a time when I'm not broke!

They say life is full of totally unexpected events: whether it is a pregnancy, death, birth or engagement. But Meredith Grey didn't believe that at all. She believed that everyone, either subconsciously or consciously, knew what the particular outcome would be. Or at least, they had a rough idea. It didn't matter if it was wrong or right. Meredith Grey knew that Derek would not be meeting her that night. That is to say, the sensible, pessimistic side of Meredith knew Derek wouldn't come. The naïve, optimistic side of Meredith prayed that he would show up anyway, possibly just to prove her theory incorrect. After all, she reasoned, wasn't it him who told her how beautiful she was, how strong and perfect? Was it not he who told her she was the one who'd rescued him when he was drowning? No, she concluded grimly, he would be coming, late as he was.

Meredith Grey glanced at the metallic grey clock on the wall.

"He should be here by now. Where is he?" She muttered angrily. She was angry at herself for believing that he would come. Why would he? Just like, why would he sign those stupid divorce papers? He must have chosen Addison, that lucky bitch, she thought bitterly.

Cristina, Izzie and George glanced up in unison at Meredith, sitting by herself on the bar stool. "He's not going to come," Cristina sighed, "that bastard. We're the ones who are gonna have to drag her home tonight."

Izzie glared at Cristina. "Hey, it's not easy for her, too, you know. I bet she's hurting more than she's letting on."

George cast his eyes on the clock. He murmured his agreement and turned away to the pool game once more. It hurt him to see Meredith in her lonely state of devastation.

The door swung open violently, letting in a burst of cold wind. All eyes swivelled to the door, with eagerness and expectation.

Meredith's shoulders drooped once more. She slammed her hand on the marble table and motioned for Joe to give her one more round. And another….and another….until time was just a notion and life had stopped momentarily.

"Good thing you've got friends here with you, Mer. I don't know how I'd feel letting you go home alone tonight." Joe commented, polishing glasses behind the counter.

Meredith didn't reply. She was sober enough to hear his words, every one of them, but she was too drunk to comprehend their meaning. Why should she care, though? She didn't care about anything at that moment.

"Joe…you know….you've been a good friend….and….alllll….but I don't….bllooddyy care…." She slurred, laughing at no one in particular.

Joe looked at her in concern, wondering if it was wise to keep pouring tequila for her. Sooner or later she would regret her decision to mask her pain with alcohol. It really only stalled her dealing with her grief.

"Well," giggled Meredith, getting up shakily, "I'll be off, Joey. The damn bastard didn't show….

I got work tomorrow….maybe I'll just stay home, eh? Thanks for the…drinks…you're a good guy…." Meredith staggered off in the direction of her friends.

"Damn, she's bloody out cold. Why didn't you keep an eye on her, George?" Izzie snapped.

"I didn't realise that, apart from being her supportive friend, you wanted me to be her babysitter as well!" George retorted. It had been a long night and it killed him to see Meredith suffering so.

Cristina snorted. "It's not like she's going to forget this. We might be dealing with repeats of this everyday if the asshole McDreamy doesn't get his act together."

Izzie felt her rage increasing at the mention of his name. "God, I hate him at this point. Meredith's stuck by him all this time and then he turns back to his lying, cheating wife. He'd better not try and apologize to Mer with a pathetic excuse, that dickhead!"

Derek Shepard glanced at his expensivesilver-plated watch. His heart sank when he realised that it was too late. He'd procrastinated for too long and now Meredith—the one he'd promised to stand by forever—would have lost any faith in him that she still had in her after all the surprising revelations.

Derek could hear stiletto heels clicking on the tile floor. With a sinking heart, he knew that the person he least wanted to see had arrived to mock his misery. Addison Shepard glanced sympathetically at her estranged husband. "Honey, it's one o'clock. Your shift was over two hours ago. Go home!" She urged, nudging his shoulder gently. Her slick red hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. Derek looked up at her.

"Why don't I hate you?" He asked.

A slight frown creased Addison's porcelain face. Addison said sharply, "I beg your pardon?"

"Why don't I hate you?" He asked again. He was venting his frustration out on her, and he knew it. "You screwed my best friend, you lied about the affair, you broke my heart, you ruined my chances with the one person whom I might be remotely interested in, but I don't completely hate you. How? How the hell does someone do that?" He yelled, fuming.

Addison smiled. "I think you already know why. It's because you can't let go of that memory. The one of me when I was young and innocent and we were in love. Isn't that the reason as to why you still have not signed the papers? It's not because it hurts. You've passed the hurt and resentment, and you're ready to start again, aren't you Derek?"

Derek was silent, soaking in all her words.

"Come home," Addison continued softly, "where you belong."

Slowly, a smile crept on Derek's face. At last, he knew the right decision; the decision that had to be made. It would hurt, but he was finally being honest to himself…

"No, you're wrong, Addison. You might have been right every other time, but you're wrong now. I am past the hurt and anger, but I've moved on. It's just been so hard because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of starting fresh with someone else, because they may hurt me, possibly more than you did. But I was wrong too. Meredith would never do that. She's not only completely different to you in status and looks, but in spirit. She's a stronger, trustworthier person than you'll ever be. So now," He said, getting to his feet with more enthusiasm than he'd felt in a long time, "if you'll excuse me, right now there's somewhere else I belong." He sprinted out through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital, knowing in his heart that there was only one place he had to be.


End file.
